If you’ve been on the internet at all in the past week, I’m sure you’ve seen this little number floating around somewhere in your Twitter or Facebook feed. It’s the now infamous, “What happens an hour after you drink a Coca-Cola?” infographic. This post was originally written by Niraj Naik or “The Renegade Pharmacist” out of the UK, to demonstrate all the harmful effects a regular old can of Coke can have on your body in just one hour. Well, to be more specific his original post is actually explaining the detrimental effects that Fructose (which is abundant in Coke) can have on weight gain. Never the less, it has resulted in a highly debated infographic that has blown up all over the internet. So, let’s take a closer look at the original post to see just what we are dealing with.
Let’s start off by stating a well-known fact that Coca-Cola isn’t the best drink of choice. We know it’s saturated with sugar and caffeine and will give us the “boost” we sometimes need to get through the afternoon, but what is it really doing to our bodies? According to The Renegade Pharmacist, it isn’t doing anything good. First off, it hits you with 10 teaspoons of sugar, which is 100% of you’re daily recommended allowance. Now, its debatable that drinking 10 teaspoons of sugar dissolved in a glass of water will make you immediately throw up like this infographic states, since many drinks (like Chocolate Milk and Fruit Juices) have this much or more without the phosphoric acid to “cut” the flavour. But let’s not miss the point, that’s too much damn sugar.
Next, because of this mass amount of sugar you just ingested, your blood sugar levels will undoubtedly spike, causing your liver to react with insulin. In other words, you’re gonna crash. Hard. But don’t worry, the caffeine that enters your blood stream next will keep you awake, at least for a bit. Immediately after that, the caffeine helps to facilitate the release of Dopamine into your brain, you know, the hormone that makes you feel like you’re in love (no wonder people are addicted to Coke!). Within 60 minutes the phosphoric acid in the Coca-Cola binds to the calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine while the caffeine’s diuretic (makes you pee) properties kick in and you essentially pee it out a good chunk of your bodies nutrients. Awesome. If that wasn’t enough, you’re now about to crash into a sea of irritability, sluggishness and overall feeling crappy until you get your next fix.
Okay, even if some of these facts may stretch the truth a little bit or may not be incredibly scientifically accurate, there’s still something to be said for any of this happening after you drink a can of something. For instance, an infographic of what happens to your body after drinking a glass of water would be much less terrifying, and this next infographic made by Huffington Post’s Comedy writers makes a really good case for replacing your next can of coke with a refreshing PBR.
This Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer infographic has the complete opposite effect than the Coca-Cola version on my next drink choice. First off, who doesn’t want their senses to be “hijacked by unaltered ecstasy”? Then you have a “surge of charisma that impresses everyone that you meet” to look forward to, coupled with your “neurons going into hyperdrive” which, obviously, causes the “instant discharge of profound thoughts from your mouth”. You’re prefrontal cortex is then shut off at the 40 minute mark, freeing you of any worries or doubts and any debilitating disease you may have had will permanently vanish. Essentially, the next hour will be the best hour of your life. Then you throw up.
This infographic had me right up to number 7, when all my dreams were subsequently crushed. I guess the cure would be to drink another PBR and ride the roller coaster again, right? Yes.
Okay, so obviously this Pabst Infographic is a witty comeback to the original Coca-Cola post and none of these things will actually happen to you (or will they?). Either way, they are both pretty good arguments for putting down the sugar-laden beverages and swapping them for water or anything else more natural and nutritious. A Coke may not be a bad thing every once in a while but having this infographic now seared into your brain will probably make you think twice the next time you go to take a swig of that ice-cold Coke. As for the second infographic it will probably increase Pabst sales. Just saying.